Let's do it again

Only this time lets go someplace closer to our neck of the woods. No, my silly dear internets not literally “our” woods, but a few miles from us. Today’s trip-ah-long is to GW Jones State Park. I know we have lots of such places. Don’t look so surprised this is Texas, y’all. Yes I really talk like this. Yes I do almost sound like that little girl on the shake-n-bake commercial. Okay, I’ll say it, but only if you insist….It’s shake n bake n I helllped.


Nope, no cover fee, yelp the usual rules apply. Man, what y’all got sum sorta memory problem? Stay on the trail, stay quiet and stay together. Crap! Because this is Texas and we have big animals that eat little dear internets if they aren’t careful. Don’t make me Make y’all hold hands, it’s too hot for that today. Yes, this is a trip from last year, but y’all did so well with the last “pretend it’s now” trip I figured y’all could do it again. So yeah, use those imaginations of yours and let’s move out.

This is the pond at the front of the park. I suppose you could fish in it, but we did not bring any fishing gear. Did you? I didn’t think so on accounta you didn’t know about this tip-ah-long in advance, like I did and all.

Yeah the whole trail looks pretty much like this. Wide so a couple can old hands walking side by side and stopping to smooch ever now n again. Yes we do have a lot of pine trees. No, not near as many as the Pine Curtain, y’all remember that? Man, that was close. Just think I could be talking way funnier purdy layday.

Isn’t this some of the prettiest fungus you ever saw? Sorta like shells stuck to a log. H, E double hocky sticks I’m not gotta eat ‘em. No! You can’t either.

Ah, look the pond in back. I know, full of really cool cypress knees and big cypress trees. Now, if you’re not used to walking around knees, just be careful where you put your foot down. Some of ‘em are hard to see and you could twist an ankle or something. Maybe fall and slide in the water. No you don’t want to do that, it’s got gattors in it. Does so! No I don’t see any right now, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

My goodness some of y’all sure are pushy. No, I didn’t. Did you bring sam-witches? Enough for everyone?

Yelp, that’s it. A small rural and woody park. A place, if you will, to just meander about and maybe sit a spell and write a poem or play fingers with your Beloved. Yes kids are allowed, just keep an eye on ‘em. You wouldn’t want them to be gattor bait, now would ya? Okay, got go. No I mean I need to leave…go find a toilet cause they sure don’t have any here.

See ya... Y'all come back now, ya hear. (statement not a question)

This One Time

when I was cooking some potato soup, okay stop laughing – I do know how to cook! In fact my Daddy says to me, “You make the best potato soup I’ve ever had.” Never mind that he may have been drinking, heavily, at the time. So any way I made the pot of soup. Really!


So then I was cleaning up the kitchen…no quit it. I do too clean! Gosh what’s wrong with you people? So I was cleaning and fixing to wipe off the stove when what did my itty bitty eyes spy? Y’all, my dear internets will never believe it! A pixie, a fairy if you will. No it’s true. Stop snickering…I can cook, I can clean and I did see!

Look I have proof!

See I told you. Well no, I couldn't get to my camera fast enough to take her photograph but she did leave a foot print. No she did not make the soup, I DID! NO she did not clean the kitchen, I DID!

I swear I don’t know what I’m gonna do with y’all my dear internets. Any suggestions?

High-Jack

Y’all know two of my dear internets Deanna and Jai right? Well if not you should. Okay so on of Deanna’s post, a while back, Jai left a comment that basically said the perfect scenario would be … to be reading a really good book, in a bubble bath (I added bubbles) and eating chocolate cake. Deanna went on to say “Why don’t we just deem February that month.

And now unbeknownst to them I’m announcing that February, the love month is also the month when all readers should take a bath while eating chocolate cake and reading a book. I think it should be a book of poems, love poems and that you should read them to your lover who may or may not be with you in the bubbles.

A sea of bubbles and chocolate cake crumbs and wet skin and well y’all get the idea. Yeah I know you can picture that…

this particular book (the intention experiment) is not poetry, it’s a smart mental book…lalala

Now I want you all to go take a bath, at least once this month, eat some chocolate cake and read a book, or at least one love poem this month. Take a photo of yourself while doing it and post it on your blog. Oh, you can do it, don’t be scared; if I can YOU can

And be sure to stop by both Deanna’s and Jai’s to tell them thank you…Thank You for the great month I’m having.

Oh and while we’re at it here’s some keywords: how about bathing beauty (term used very loosely) in Naked bubbles eating a Hostess Chocolate dingdong reading while naked. There that should do it. Oh and YES I can be daring when you can't really see me...Live that is

Anyone Day Trip...

So a while back we went in to G city, not spot you nasty peoples, Galveston. The city of Galveston. It has been almost 2 years since our last visit. Things have gotten better since then and it’s starting to look like some recovery has been made since Ike.

Well y’all know how my Beloved likes to take day trips and overnighters and vacations and junk, but because we couldn’t overnight nor vacate we day tripped. So without further ado here we go, yes we, cause you get to do this virtually and that way it is practically free for you. See I do know how valuable your time is.

This is a sideways look down the side of a building.

And this is another building

Yes once more, they have a few buildings there ya know. We were just hanging out and meandering up and down The Strand.

TaDah I knew you were ready for a frontal. Can you see me in the window?

A close up of some fancy a$$ed metal work on…yes you guessed it a building

Wow-sers a Full Frontal view. Wonder where I am in this shot.

Yes I thought we should look the other way, back at where we came from. Now get in the car and let’s go home.

Thank you my dear internets for joining me on this little yet vastly eye popping architectural day trip. Who wants the answer as to which window I was in? That would be the one across the street, really my dears I was taking the picture and could not have possibly been in a window on the third or fourth story of the building I was photographing. Now could I? 'Your average practical joke you slander? Ha, there is nothing average nor practical about my joking. Was this fun for you? I guess it matters not because it was fun for moi!

So what kind of buildings have you looked at lately? Tall ones? Short ones? Skinny ones? Fat Wide Fluffy ones? Invisible ones?

Dear Internets, I have a surprise!

Okay, so y’all know that it was our anniversary, but what you don’t know is where we went. Now don’t get too excited, stop clawing at your mouse (mice). We went up to Fort Worth, Texas, to attend the Fall Festival in the Japanese Garden, which is held at the Botanical Gardens. The drive up we uneventful, unless you count our being sleepy as an event.

We had a backpack with some waters, snacks and umbrellas as I expected rain. The mid morning was pretty good, not hot and not raining. We walked around and took photos, you knew I would…See

We watched some great drummers! Their performance was very physical, highly energetic and super entertaining. Dondoko Taiko Drummers

Then some fellas demonstrated the Dojo of traditional Japanese Martial Arts. For those of us that don’t know that is where they remove the samurai sword from the sheath and put it back after making a few whacking wind slapping moves through the air. Don’t get me wrong it was very fancy a$$ed wind whacking, but some fellas had orgasmic looks of pleasure on thier faces. So we felt like we were intruding on a personal moment and we took off to roam around the garden.

That’s when it happened. The wind got angry at those fellas and it began to twitch and cry and howl. It was mad as hell and wasn’t gonna take it anymore…they canceled the rest of that day’s festivities. I’m not saying it was those fellas fault, but talk about a co-winky-dense.

The rest of the a day was spent at the hotel, napping The next day we had planned to met and have breakfast with a dear internet. This is the surprise part! Hold your breath and squeeze your eyes tight, okay so just image your eyes are shut (otherwise you cann’t read this-duh)

We were meeting at  a Swiss Pastry & Cake shop (please note the word CAKE). Ha the nerve of them to NOT be open on a Sunday! Their loss. Anyways our secret dear internet arrived and we convoyed over to the what-a-burger. We had the best visit and what a darling she is, more loverly in person, if you can image, then online. Hey hold your horses, I’m getting there.

We talked of everything…writing, reading, world poy-tricks, medicine, music, movies, museums, traveling and we came to the utmost conclusion that to solve all the world’s problems we just need to love each other. I know CRAZY right? We chatted and laughed and laughed and chatted till time actually stood still. Then bam my dear internet wondered what time it was. Would you believe that we had sat there for like 6 ½ hours! Hey you would have too if you had the pleasure of meeting the one and only incredible Jai Joshi. I know don’t hate me. She is a very pleasant, intelligent and personable person. I only hope her mom will forgive us for keeping her so long.

Ya know she figured that we have been communicating online for at least 4 years, but most likely {wink} it’s been more like 5 or 6 Don’ t you think? Okay if you insist is a photo to prove I’m not making this up

TADAH

Oh this may look like the end of the story, but it’s not. Wait till I show and tell y’all about our-So lucky to be alive- trip home.

Crazy Rumor

Bless my soul and beat the dust outta my britches. Someone went and spread the rumor that I had a lovely blog. What??? you may say, and believe me I did too. But it’s true my dear internet Linda of Left Brain Write said it, and she honest about junk like that so it must be truly true. Thank you dear Linda I am honored if not surprised...loverly indeed :-)

Now I should feel guilty because I’m just awful on accounta I don’t remember if there were “rules” attached. Okay I’m pretty sure there were, but I’m disregarding them and passing this doozie of an Award at some well deserving dear internets. So if y’all want to stick some rules on it if or when you pass it on, don’t mind me and do what feels right for your lovely blog. So here goes…and the Lovely Blog Award goes to (dumdeedeedum)

A Writer’s Edge
Down River Drivel
Quoteflections
What’s in my Head
Unedited
Actual Unretouched Photo
Jingle
Susan’s Snipets
Teahouse Blossom
Jean Luc Captain Picard’s Journal
Grace Notes
A Writer’s Point of View

Congratulations my loverlies, I don’t think I could be any happier, at this very moment unless Publishers Clearing House were to knock on my door (Please knock on my door) Ahh well maybe soon.

And now a question for y’all my dear internets---What do you think of the Flashlight Follower Feature?

Security who?

Did I tell y’all about the dog we had a while back? Poor little guy we had to…well you know. He was a crazy thing, raised all kinds of havoc chewing on table legs and socks and yes the under britches too. Can you believe I don’t even have a picture of him, no seriously we were so busy chasing him around there was never a chance to snap a shot, stupid little $hit.


In a way I miss that dog with all the frolicking and bouncing around and heck I suppose for that matter even the surprise of what he was going to do next. He was Security Dog in need of training. Oh my goodness this one time I took him to the pet shop over at the mall and he got away from me. I was so scared he was gonna bite someone or pee on somebody ya know. I had run right out the doors after him and yelled and yelled for him to get back here. Then he slipped outta sight so I called and called his name and said cooing words so he wouldn’t think he was in trouble and junk. Here baby, come to momma I got a bone for you, come on. I whistled and smooched my lips and junk. People were being idiots and running away from me as if I had a gun or like they had never saw anyone trying to get their dog back. Finally I found him at the pretzel kiosk begging for a pretzel, I don’t know why after all he had just ate before we left home. The kid working it said “hey lady, you need to do something about your dog.” And you know me I said, “ya think so huh?” I would like to say I picked the little $hit up and whipped him, but no I didn’t want an assault charge so I ignored him and put my dog back on the leash and walked away mumbling about how I had found a roach in my pretzel. Yeah I did, y’all so know I did. Then next thing he did, you won’t believe this…

We were going on a trip and it involved an airplane ride, we had everything all lined up for taking our dog and things were going surprisingly well, then somehow he escaped from his crate. What a mess, there was airport personnel everywhere looking and trying not to make too much of a deal outta it, afraid they would be sued or something I guess. The gate girl, I don’t know what else to call her, came and got us to see if we could get the dog to stop running in the terminal. Maybe y’all remember the news story? Anyways people started freaking out, screaming and running in the same direction we were going. There was such mayhem you would’ve thought someone had a bomb. All we were doing was looking for our crazy a$$ed dog.

Here boy, smooch-smooch, Security, Security! Come here Security, come to momma. What? That was his name, Duh I told you that, Security Dog. Hey that’s a great name, just think about it, you know it’s a good one. No really imagine where it can take you and all the stuff you can do with it. SO what’s wrong with that?

But needless to say, we missed our flight and came to the sad conclusion that Security had to go, we found a good home for him and last I heard he was very happy and the new owners dropped the Security part and just keep the Dog.

Now tell me my dear internets, was reading this as funny for you as when Beloved told me about this dream? You did get it right? The dog’s name was Security and we were running around calling for Security and people freaking out and all the mayhem because of our lost Security. Surely y’all got it ;-p

Copy Catter

Member when I asked y’all if ya like being in the spotlight or at least in the flashlight, here? I’ll let you in on a little secret....


This cool and new to me blogger Shakira spotlights one of her followers every week in her sidebar. Super neat-OH peat-OH idea. I love it! So totally love it, don’t you? Well if not maybe you will after you are the one under the bright light of my side bar. Okay so instead of drawing a follower from my hat I’ll use a bowl, a jewel encrusted one. All Fancy Smancy like. In case you were wondering…I found Shakira by way of a button link Jannie Funster had featured on her side bar. But I’m not gonna do that button thang, sorry but it looks too complicated and by that I mean time consuming, to me. I’ll stick to the old fashioned draw a Follower outta my hat easy way.

NO promises as to how long I’ll keep this up, y’all know how we Royalty are...But I can guarantee that you will never, no never be My Flashlight Follower of the week IF you aren’t a follower. Hum, is this some kind of scheme of mine to gain a wonderful awesome big a$$ following, you may ask. Well, did ya, ask? I know at least one of my dear internets did cause I heard you all the way through my screen. Yes, I guess maybe it is.  So what,  rhetorical question so it needs no answer. No don't answer.

And everyone says oooo, awww and oh my, when’s it gonna be my turn? The first lucky follower will be shown in my side bar Sunday August 1st. Of course new followers will be added to the bowl, as they begin to follow moi and those silly enough to “stop following” will be very promptly removed. Humph!

Are you following  Me? This blog that is? Perhaps it's time you did

NEWS

I just found out that a humor piece of mine has just been published over at Six Sentences. Please drop by there, have a read and do spread some comment love...

then rush right back to read my other post from today Sun Screen Bathing

end of message :-)

Drawing a beginning

As y’all know I'm taking a drawing class  so far there have been 3 and today is the last one. So as I said I have never really tried to seriously draw portraits other than the usual grade school drawings. When I first started thinking about taking a class, really to benefit my daughter who loves to draw…I thought what ta heck and drew a face in my poetry journal.

See not so good.

At our first class the instructor handed out papers that helped explain the typical shapes of the face and where abouts the different features are located within the facial structure. I used a magazine photo to start drawing from and was pleasantly surprised to find that it sorta turned out (I said sorta).

This really emboldened me and the next day I sat before a mirror and drew myself. This time using a bit of shading (which I don’t really know how to do either) and hey maybe I have uncovered a bit of a natural talent. Not that I’m a genius at it or nothing, but with practice surely I could only get better.

And do y'all think this looks like me, hey no snickering, I know it's hard to picture me without a hand over my face, but try anyways, okay.  Any ideas as to why this one really looks like me, well one side of me?

My current plan of action is to keep at it, so to try and make it a little easier on moi I have taken black & white photos of myself and my family to work from as models. This way the light won’t change and neither will the expressions or angle of the heads. As I think that may be some of my problem, y’all know look in mirror- look at paper – look at moving model, look at paper… you get the point.

And this is the model that a classmate brought last week, seems that it takes more than one drawing for me to get the hang of whichever face I’m doing. I took her photo as well and drew this.

I would like to encourage you all to try something new, ya never know what kind of hidden talent you may have lurking behind the fear.

Now tell me my dear internets have you found a hidden talent that you didn’t know you had…a superb pony tail maker? an awesome table setter? lovery sofa lounger? best sweeper ever? bestest ever friend? magical music maker? Come on do tell...

Surprise!

Please be sure to read the stuff below...it's a Surprise about moi!

The Dream
       .according to us

I saw a miniature black horse; its name was Ninety-two
standing before orange elevator doors
they chimed open, Ninety-two winked and leapt inside

I followed, fell into roses red and white and dripping with dew
every scratchless thorn capped with cotton
as 'round the palace the Queen raced on little Ninety-two

I hid behind red velvet curtains, plush and warm as wine,
while the sweat-flecked horse rode on, faster and faster
and the Queen fixed me with her terrible eye

As she put Ninety-two through saddle breaking phases,
Ninety-two strobed, electric
and she was sometimes me and sometimes the Queen

Like a hot tart dropped in haste, Ninety-two’s
chaotic glow took on a heat of
madness - liberating floating in sweet madness!

Equine strength summoned, she galloped full speed
The ground seemed to give way and suddenly
I and not the Queen was airborne, soaring majestically

Tiny toy houses and doll like people fell away
they could not see me above, light as air
Bliss; until a far north wind came and took me

Orange balloons with black eighteen's galloped skyward
like little winged ponies as I emerged,
Birthday Queen, from childhood's fevered dream

I awoke at last, in my damp and familiar bed
Mother smiling, gently wiping my brow
and little Ninety-two safely corralled in my arms

 
Y’all remember the Daisy Chain Poem (finished poem above) I told you about it over here? Mark has posted about his piece here. Well my dear internets I’m honored to announce that Linda Simoni-Wastila of Left Brain Write, has / or shortly will post an interview of moi. So my dear internets please rush on over there and find out what deep secret questions she may have asked and how they were answered by me. Linda will also be interviewing some {if not all} of the other poets that participated in the chain…Oooo, this is so exciting I can’t wait to find out what I said. Come on let’s go,  I'll wait

{waiting} don’t worry take your time {waiting} I know it may be a little long winded {waiting} But hey I’m so worth it and you are so ultra worth waiting for. No seriously. I mean it.

Okay so now that you are back I have a few questions for y’all:

1. What did you think?

2. Did I sound like a crazy a$$?

3. Were you impressed with any of my answers? And if so Which ones?

4. Did I embarrass myself?

5. Should I refuse any and all future interview requests from now on?

Come on do tell, don’t be shy…I’m waiting

Lucky, lucky me

I count myself as among the lucky. I have become acquainted with many fine folks here in the www. Okay so I think they are fine. And mumbling and grumbling over coffee on lazy mornings would be a treat. And the following is about two such loverly lucky things…


I’m sure I don’t have to remind y’all that this has been National Poetry Month and how I’ve been doing the daily prompts as offered by Robert at Poetic Asides (no this is not a commercial)…

So’s anyways I was asked for a few poems to be looked over and edited by Georganna of A Writer’s Edge, which she did only for her own entertainment - As poetry is a personal thing making it somewhat relative to edit; (relative to the person writing and what they are conveying) and an editors changes may incite a shift in the overall emotion that the poet was sending. If that makes any sense to anyone other than me. Okay now the point She is going to post one such poem of mine sometime today Wednesday 4-28-2010 and I must say that I’m very excited and sincerely touched and honored by this wonderful gesture of www friendship. Thanks so much Geo!

Now on to some poetry crazy-a$$ed’ness (a word I just now made up) I was also lucky in that I was asked to participate in a Daisy Chain event by Drwasy, well my dear internets I seldom pass up a poetry challenge and plus it sounded fun. We each were to start a poem with whatever rules and theme we wanted and e-mail it to the person on the list that appeared after us. Things went a little awry as they are inclined to do when traveling by way of the www, it’s world wide after all. I won’t put my starter here as there is still some discussion as to what their end may be, BUT I will post the silly (yet fun) poem that I diddled up to mark the event (and using the prompt from April26) Ladies and Gentlemen and Others, here for the first time is…{exciting music of your choice)



Daisy Chain


Five starters made it around (to me)
And then no others could be found
Oh me, oh my who was to blame
It wasn’t busy Melissa
On accounta she couldn’t play
Robin sent to Mark and then he to me

And I on to Tony and he to Linda
Michael and Laurita were in the chain
And three went missing the email way
Oh who to blame
It was poor ol’ Doug that got picked

And being the good sport, that I hope he is
Said Our Distant Friends are Impetus
And the Citizen Three remembered
July 12, 1979 was like a Speedball

And then they went on to The Dream
Of an Early Spring which weirdly turned
Out to be Terminal

And now you too have been zapped
By the gang and their fun daisy chain


Back to lucky me – Silly is as silly does and sometimes a little crazy a$$ed’ness will lighten the load; worries can get carried off by nonsense and laughter

Disclaimer: I don’t know any of these fine folks, virtually or otherwise, (other than Linda) so as for Doug, I only used the terms Old and Poor as an artist prerogative, for all I know he is young and very (very I say) wealthy.

UnPerfect ... MOI?

Okay so I got this email the other day and in the subject line it said “PaigeUnPerfect” just what was that supposed to mean? I deleted it on accounta they are obviously a crazy a$$ and don’t know me so good and how I AM ALWAYS, yes ALWAYS RIGHT! Just ask my Beloved.

Now onward and upwords; (fear not my dear award giver outters I have not forgotten you, the time will come; just not this time)

So y’all know I’ve been doing the annual Poem a Day Challenge hosted by Robert Lee Brewer of Poetic Asides and I just now, yes this very second thought I should share a couple with you. Because you are my dear internets and you want to see. I so know you do!

Day #10 prompt – write of horror – yeah I flopped on this one, not a single edged butterfly knife in sight, but there was a plain…

Razor’s Edge

Darkness fell with eyelids
                  .sliding down
Breathing slowed, heart rate too
Unfamiliar sights drifted across
                   .an empting mind

Drip – drip – drip

Behind the closed white door

Down – down – down
               .then there was no more


Boo! I knew I scared ya and next comes

Day # 11 – write using this phrase “The Last “__”” fill in the blank, have I mentioned that I think rules have curves, not so much unlike moi. Hey who said bulges? Cause that just ain’t right. Straighten up y’all, this is serious. No, I mean it.

The Last “___”

As if they were pushed away
--they fell
till the shelf was all but empty and
all the a-e-i-u and even the y’s
were spilt, lying there in a puddle
I picked them up and grasping
at red and white bendy straws
I kinda just simply used what
--there was

Ta Dah! Now how’s about you? Have you written any violets are red and roses are blues?

Sticky Post Announcement

New posts are below

You are all hereby invited to a Stupid Blog Party. April 1st. Yes, my dear internets, April’s Fool Day and here’s what you need to bring. Simply write a Stupid Post for that day. It can be about you, someone in your family, a stranger or even total fiction, about something you think is Stupid, heck it can even be a picture as long as it’s original by you. Let me know (paigevonliber at gmail dot com) that you plan on attending and I will add a link to my Stupid Post. There will be prizes! And Virtual punch, cake, chips, coffee and anything you can image…well that’s what I expect in a Stupid Blog Party anyway.
Regular Posting Below

Hum sometimes I wonder...

about my dear internets. So someone, a secret admirer perhaps, thinks this blog is so funny that it screams H~U~M~O~R  or is someone trying to say I scare the hell outta ‘em. Okay all kids outside, no really send them outside to play for a change. I am pleased to have been given this, ah, um, ah thing from you know who (my secret admirer)  Oh yeah I almost forgot to say thank you, so thank you my dear internet.

passing this on to:

Susan’s Snippets - her photos and commentary are screamingly real

Ma Vie Folle - she just cracks me up

Melissa’s manic Musings  - what can I say she is a maniac

And now for some Crazy A$$ed questions (as if you would expect anything less than whole milk)

1. How does my screen look from your side?

2. Beloved asks: What did the 1st camel say to the 2nd camel when describing her new pedicure over the phone? (yeah you know it’s funny)

3. Have you ever pulled someone’s finger? And if so I dare you to describe your experience (don’t be scared the clown is watching)

4. And now that my screen has been cleaned how does it look?

5. Have you ever been bitten by a dog? I have can you guess where? Go ahead take a guess

6. Are you the type of cook that buys pre-boiled eggs like these below?

7. And one last question; okay so y’all know when you sign something xxxooo, meaning hugs and kisses, does the x represent the hug or the kiss? Cause it seems like the hug should be the o, because it like hugs you.

Special thanks to all those that helped to make this weird post possible:
Jannie for the award, Loose Leaf Notes-for the puppy, Beloved for the camel toe joke (yes it's still funny I mean just picture it), Grandpaw for the finger pulling, Moi for the super cool photo, Butch for the doggie bite, Moi again for the photo, and Baby Girl for the xxx & ooo question

Now go out there and leave some comment love on all the blogs you visit this week, even if all you type is "Paige told me to say hi."

French Toast & Bras

Wow! Didn’t we just do this a few weeks ago? Sure feels like it to me...


Yes this is my Christmas post my dear, most dearest internets. You should be with your family and not reading this lame post of mine. But I will forgive you because I know how trying our families can be when we are cooped up together in one room for hours, if not longer, on end. A feeling I personally have become most uncomfortable with, our hotel room gets smaller by the second. Now that's enough about moi.

I hope Santa brought you what you desired or at least close to it, that your eyes are filled with joy and your hearts are brimming to overflowing with contentment and love... But if not you can always take a little trip later to the .99 cent store and pick up for yourself or someone you love one of these titillating (pun very much intended) handy dandy nipple brassieres.

Now if that's not worth a laugh there is something wrong with you because I’m fine, yeah so fine. Oh yes you bet I did get strange looks, very strange looks indeed when I took photographs of these over the shoulder boulder holders. They are available at select .99 cent stores in white, bronze or black and can be found on the aisle between the children's toys and kitchen dishes.

Now my dear internets please get back to your families and give yourself a little hug or a humongous giant Texas one from me (oops sorry, didn't mean to poke you) as I wish you a Merry Christmas, may God bless you and keep you safe my dear internets.

We are off to have Christmas breakfast with my daughter Erin and her family... it is rumored that we shall be having Texas toast (also known as French toast) served with coffee and sides of giggles, snickers and smiles sure to warm the belly and heart of all parents and grandparents everywhere.

Life in a Texas Town

One of my dear internets nominated me, yes moi, for the 2009 Weblog awards in the category best humor. This is so thrilling for me because I did not have to nominate myself so once again I shall ask that if I make it to the finals, and you know if I do I will tell you, then you yes all of you my dear most dearest internets shall cast your vote my way. That is if you think I qualify , but if not I'm sure that there will be at least one best humor blog you would be willing to vote for. In further weblog awards news our friend Jannie Funster was also nominated for Best Humor, Georganna of A Writer’s Edge for Best Literature, Dirty Footprints Studio for Best Video, Kind Over Matter for Best Web Gem, and don’t forget that I nominated myself for Best Blog. How’s about y’all, what news in your world?


And totally unrelated, just before the removal of my “Baby Barn” I was finally able to talk Beloved into taking me to see Big Ol’ Sam Houston in Huntsville. I mean really I have been past that giant statue a gazillion times... and every single time he looked like he was gonna step across the freeway. So anyways I've been to the artist studio in the Heights area of downtown Houston, David Adickes, which I posted about here. But what I really want to show you is a photo that my beloved took...

I know too funny huh? It's an optical illusion my dear internets, I really did not pick Big Ol’ Sam’s nose.

And this is a picture of some type of rose (I think) that I took in the park. Very pretty I thought

And now on to another unrelated topic Snaggletooth of Exit Stage Right in a post talked about a town where people were limited on the number of cats they could have. You know the one for which she received the Humane award, anyway I told her that in my town we could have any kind of animal, even within the city proper, other than pigs. I told her about the folks that had a donkey and to prove that fact I drove by to take a photograph...

Surprise, surprise and surprise one more time. They now own not one but three donkeys. How's that for a kick in the a$$? But also please note they got rid of the cow, well at least it’s not in the yard anymore. Now I know what y'all are thinking, everyone in Texas wears boots, cowboy hats, drives a truck, owns oil wells and cows. You do to, you so know you think that but my dear internets I do not, that is unless you count a ceramic cow or two.

And on to one last unrelated thing...So what kind of pie are you having at your house for Thanksgiving and are you gonna make your own whip cream or are you going to spoon it from a tub or squirt it from a can? It’s okay you can tell me, I’ll keep your secret all safe and sound in my comments.

Me I love Goode Co. Pecan Pie I know it's costly but I so need me some Goode Company

An Autumn Adventure

Well my dear internets the plan was, initially, to have solar panels installed on our home. I know you just love the new green me, it's exciting. So the solar guy came and said the tree in the front yard would cast too much shade on the panels; of which we need city clearance and our power company’s rebate in order to install plus some of our own monies. What you may ask, ok ask…Yes it’s true, power companies (maybe yours too) are offering rebates to folks that install “Renewable energy” ie solar AND there is more~ don da don ~IRS Tax break, un-taxable added real estate value your home! If possible you really should check into it especially since “IF” we are approved by the city and power company after the solar is installed we get to SELL back our unused solar energy. Yes virtually no electric bill…if all goes right ~ God willing.


So on with the story of the trees, some of you may recall that in our backyard there are a clump of three trees, 2 pines - 1 oak, that scares the poo out of me. The pines creak and scrape against each other with their wonderful big a$$ branches hanging over the power lines that come into our home and that of the neighbor. So we called a tree crew out for an estimate. With the details and money settled the boss man said they would be here at 8 AM on Saturday and low and behold they were. I started a load of laundry before they got here. Dressed and ready for action I grabbed my camera and headed outside with the rest of my family. Those five guys on the tree crew were like monkeys they climbed with ropes and chainsaws. The amazing flock of chain saws buzzed over the morning air, squirrels barked and ran, acorns fell and hid in the aging grass. Before long with a crack, swoosh and plop the tree in the front yard was down and lying horizontally across the street in a sad state for the green me.

Why is it, do you suppose, we must destroy nature to become green?

Having gone back in the house baby girl went in the kitchen for something, I don't remember as things really got exciting then with the tree crew moving to the back yard and tying off limbs so as not to break power lines and what not (the new shed). The sound of chain saws buzzing in my ears and the fresh scent of sawdust still in my nose, baby girl squeaked out, “There is water all over the kitchen floor!” So I told her to turn the dishwasher off because that was on. Beloved said mop it up. Both of us thinking that the dishwasher had sprung a leak. WRONG! Baby girl said, “I don't think I can, there is a lot of water.” I headed for the kitchen and yes indeed there was a lot, really a whole lot of water. My tennis shoes were instantly covered... what ta hell?

Apparently while we were out watching the tree crew in the front yard my happy old washing machine decided to become very energetic, really I guess I should say it became very, very thirsty. You see the water cut off, the thingy that tells the machine it is full just sortta stopped working. Hell it gave up the ghost and died. WATER JUST KEEP FILLING AND FILLING forever, until I shut it off that is. Holy crap! The water, millions of gallons of water, was all inside the laundry room/pantry, kitchen, dining area and managed to find its way under the laminate flooring into my beautiful freshly painted living room walls. Shit it was leaching out from under the walls onto the breezeway and into the garage. OMG---OMG I said!

It would have made a great scene in a sit-com or reality show-heck it was reality- to us. Having thrown all our bath towels to try and stop the progression, we are trying to get the shop vac outta the shed (behind the tree crew) sucking up crazy amounts of water and well I just couldn’t decide what to take pictures of the water or the falling trees. Now don’t forget to count into all the excitement that my left hand still has stitches and my right one ain’t so good either. So forgive my less than focused photos…

My surgery I suppose was just the beginning of our wonderful Autumn Adventure. And yes this story shall continue so worry not that I am avoiding you because I am not, I'm just up two my eyeballs in our RL home ownership issues. That and insurance claims out the wazoo. And where ta hell is that solar guy?

When did this all happen you wonder, before meeting the awesome Funsters. I kept it a secret so as not to depress our meeting and the already made hotel arrangements. I mean why cry (oh I did cry plenty) and sorry for the delay in telling you, my dear, dearest Internets, please forgive me, but time has not treated me well the last couple of weeks…Image if you dare.

WHAT A MESS! With more, way more…way too much more to come.


and a Happy Halloween to y'all. So how has your autumn been going?

The Rock

Just a quick post to let you know we made it to the big granite rock. In the fun surprise is I've met in real life Jannie Funster, little Kelly and Jim. We climbed the rock together … well I didn't make it all the way, I have this thing about heights, steep inclines and falling okay so maybe I'm mean rolling downhill. But whatever. Jannie, her family, my baby girl and Beloved went on without me at my request. Beloved had to stop and turn back as the incline got to be too much for him too. Not because he was scared but because of his rebuilt knee and arthritic hips, but don't tell him that I said so.


It was a beautiful day the temperature was great the company couldn't have been better and I had a lot of fun. The wind was just crazy, blowing and blowing almost blowing my baby girl and Lil' Kelly away. I wish I had more energy to share more but alas things are crazy at our house right now. I'll post on that soon. No really I will.

Did I mention Blue Bunny was there? Yelp he was, cause he had to keep an eye on his Jannie. Make sure she didn't do any flinging out in public.

Please enjoy these few pictures, I'm exhausted and have to go.

Lil' Kelly and the Funster (ignore the strangers in the background they are not important to us)

Me, Kelly, Jannie- can't ya just see the wind

It was so nice to met y'all! and I'll be reading you soon all my dear internets.

Heads up

Look out or your blog may be knocked off and your pocket book surrendered.

My blogging community and of course my dear internets that post reviews on products etc. Which I myself have done, but not for payment of any kind, only for the edification of my dear internets (disclaimer).

Our ever-efficient US government, FTC (Federal Trade Commission), has decided to issue guidelines when reviewing products and I assume services as well. I recommend you  read about it here, whether you are paid or not by monies (cash, check, credit card, points), free products, other services or any other method directly by the advertiser, manufacturer or provider of service. Remember you can’t get anything for free including advice so take heed to this notice on accounta some one will pay the piper even if the pipes are bad.

For those of you who really want all the nitty-gritty here is an eighty-one page PDF file for your reading pleasure.

We need tax money people! Any tax money we can get! We Have Got to fund the bail outs and hand outs Some How and your Tax money is the answer so Cough it up. Soon this may also pertain to your Retirement funds or any other “Windfall” income you may be so lucky to have worked your a$$ off for or suffered through to get.

And remember my dear internets you didn’t read it here