Stupid Boys

I know, I know it’s been too long since I regaled you with a story from my childhood. Okay so this one time at camp (no, not band camp-get a life people) I was younger, oh about 12, yeah 12…so there we were (family) setting up camp. Okay so my mom was setting it up and we kids were being kids. Running around and poking our noses into things we knew better not to do. No really I knew better but my little sister’s habit; AKA (also known as) the Susan Phenomenon, got a hold of me and I just couldn’t help myself.


I suppose I could blame it on boredom, but I won’t cause I liked camping, I was, well I was just being a normal kid.

Cue your favorite stupid kid music (think cartoon even)

I was delighted when I saw a board leaning up against a little tree, harmless enough. My thoughts, if I had any at all, surely. No surely I thought I can do something neat and fun with that board. Make a doll house, on accounta I loved my Barbie and she was probably in my hand, just saying. Or maybe I could use it for a makeshift stage, I did like singing and dancing, surely I did. La la laa, dum dee dum, tra la dee dum. Ew I could use for playing crazy eights on, yeah that’s it. I so needed that specific board to use as a table for us kids to play cards on. See I told you I needed that neat harmless board.

Recreation for your viewing pleasure

So anyways I reached down and tilted it towards me, maybe there was treasure behind it. Could have been, you know! Daddy did teach me to be a little careful and a good thing too on accounta there was a snake taking a nap behind the harmless board. Hum creepy. So I ever so slowly and quietly put it back and stepped away. ‘Barbie, what should we do?” Stuck up little thing didn’t say anything, so I just skipped away.

After a little time (only minutes really, no surely) some of the other campers nearby told my parents to be careful there had been some snakes spotted nearby. “Yeah”, said I, “and there is one right there behind that board.” Well you would have thought the sky had fallen or little mices were running all around the ground. It was freak out time! My brave daddy went over to the tree and moved the board-S-L-O-W-L-Y- and then,

AND THEN…

He proceeded to stomp on that ol’ snake. No $hit, my dear internets, my daddy stomped it dead. (See this is where I get my crazy a$$edness from) It was scary and funny all at the same time. Ya just gotta picture my daddy in the late, okay mid 70s, wearing a plain white pocket tee shirt,cigarette in one hand-beer in the other, plaid Bermuda shorts (of some crazy color scheme), white socks and black cowboy boots (Texas people). Women and childrens screaming and hollering and jumping up on car hoods and daddy dance stomping around and big snake scared shootless, trying so hard to get away and throwing his rattle around. As if that was gonna scare MY daddy away. Hump!

Needless to say my mother and aunt would not camp at that particular site, no way no how. So we packed up and moved a few sites away. Once camp was made and the folks simmered down, I was chastised for moving the board and for not telling what I had found; while my brother and cousin were toting around the dead 5 foot rattle snake draped over a stick. Stupid boys.

You can find other snakes and me kind of posts here, here, here and yes even here. Does this appear to be some kind of serial thang? Surely there are a few weird unusual things in your life that seem like a repeat of a twilight zone. Come on my dear internets, I can’t be the only one!

Don't forget the all new Flashlight Follower feature coming to my sidebar on August 1st. Are you following yet?

Copy Catter

Member when I asked y’all if ya like being in the spotlight or at least in the flashlight, here? I’ll let you in on a little secret....


This cool and new to me blogger Shakira spotlights one of her followers every week in her sidebar. Super neat-OH peat-OH idea. I love it! So totally love it, don’t you? Well if not maybe you will after you are the one under the bright light of my side bar. Okay so instead of drawing a follower from my hat I’ll use a bowl, a jewel encrusted one. All Fancy Smancy like. In case you were wondering…I found Shakira by way of a button link Jannie Funster had featured on her side bar. But I’m not gonna do that button thang, sorry but it looks too complicated and by that I mean time consuming, to me. I’ll stick to the old fashioned draw a Follower outta my hat easy way.

NO promises as to how long I’ll keep this up, y’all know how we Royalty are...But I can guarantee that you will never, no never be My Flashlight Follower of the week IF you aren’t a follower. Hum, is this some kind of scheme of mine to gain a wonderful awesome big a$$ following, you may ask. Well, did ya, ask? I know at least one of my dear internets did cause I heard you all the way through my screen. Yes, I guess maybe it is.  So what,  rhetorical question so it needs no answer. No don't answer.

And everyone says oooo, awww and oh my, when’s it gonna be my turn? The first lucky follower will be shown in my side bar Sunday August 1st. Of course new followers will be added to the bowl, as they begin to follow moi and those silly enough to “stop following” will be very promptly removed. Humph!

Are you following  Me? This blog that is? Perhaps it's time you did

Emergency Post

This is a copy of the email I just sent off to Jannie the Funster. Maybe if I let all my dear internets know what's going on they will turn up. Okay so I'm hopping Jannie won't be mad at me too. Alright here's the email

Jannie, I had a surprise in the PO box yesterday...thanks so much. I love 'em

I'm just sorry I have to tell you this, but there has been a slight altercation the set of rooster salt & pepper shakers we already had, got their beaks outta joint when they saw the new bigger set of chicken S&P and before I knew it they had hen pecked the new ones until they announced they would not stay here (for long). Then promptly marched off to make a nest in the great packing material that you used. This morning when I got up I hunted for a couple of eggs to boil and low and behold Salt and Pepper were nowhere to be found. I was so upset I could just ring all their necks! Then I went out to the mail box to post a birthday card to my mom and found a note in the box.


Paige, we don't like it here! We are moving on! Hope to find new home or maybe we travel around!


What a pair of little chicken shits. And all those exclamation points, what was up with that? I'll let ya know if / when they show back up.


please give all my best to Lil' Kelly & JimBo

xxxooo

Paige

ps it's not my fault it was the rooster set of seasonings :-)

If ya get a chance please drop by and tell her It's not my fault, really it's not. Please and thank you so very much.

Neon's bright lights

 It's been a long while since I posted a study in color and this time it's not just a color but NEON Lights

Tell me my dear internets that I'm not the only one that likes these bright lights...no really tell me. And I also want to know if you have dreamed of being in the spotlight, under the big lights of broadway or just in a flashlight beam?

What a boob

Okay so I decided to take my own advice and went down to get an overdue mammogram. Yeah, I hear ya my dear internets those of us that have had prior biopsies should not miss our annuals. I won’t bore you with my reasons, or excuses cause we all know I just didn’t want to do it and that’s that. But when lefty went to itching, almost constantly I goggled and found out that could be a symptom of you know. I promptly marched myself over to my Gyn and picked up my scanning orders.


Nope I was not surprised when they called and wanted additional views they always want them from me. It’s like they say, “Oh this one is so great let’s have her come back in so we can see more.” Now what did sorta surprise me was when they also scheduled a Boob Ultra Sound (I didn’t’ even know they had those), they said they wanted to like see the “density” of the mass. Hole E mole E they said MASS. That kinda scared me as it had only been 2 years since my last mamo, which had been the same as the one before it , so yeah nerves woke up and I kicked myself for a couple of days. Then got over it I mean that’s the way it goes we do or don’t do and postpone those things that we know we should do all the time. Yes sometimes we regret that and sometimes we learn a lesson, maybe even a hard lesson.

Y’all know me and my trusty side kick camera, what an opportunity to show y’all how my visit went. See how much I love y’all I think of you in everything I do.

 Here I am in the very pleasant waiting room. Waiting

Here is the atomic boob smasher. Please note how it is trying to intimidate me.

After the nipple dotting ceremony I was very adequately squished. I thought the tech was trying to see just how much pressure lefty could take before exploding into a bloody mess. And next is the lovely little examining room for the ultra sound. Um there was no sound other than my nervous rattling prattle.

And the tech lubed me up quite nicely. The K-jelly was warm and melted into this goopy mess that ran down every hill and valley it could. So she snapped several pictures and I could see the screen. I found the “mass” and in fact there was more than one and they looked like holes in the otherwise wavy water surface of my tissue. Then a doctor came in and “checked” the places the tech had found and snapped pictures of. I asked where the prior marker, titanium thread, was and dr. said that does not show up on the ultra sound just the mamo. And before I asked if they were going to schedule a biopsy the good Doctor informed me there was nothing to worry about, the spots (note now they are spots) were cist and no big deal. Without question she could tell this. See what looked like holes to me had round and smooth looking texture, where as the bad stuff has rough, torn, frayed like texture.

And the moral of this trip is DON’T PUT OFF WHAT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. Schedule your Boob Job today if it’s been a year or longer or never. And remember --- Advance warning is the best defense any boob can have even a boob like me OR you.

EDIT: and please remember that MEN can get this type of cancer too, as well as other breast issues, so fellas do those breast exams on yourself or better yet have your partner check it out for ah.

Just full of it

ya don't say. A Blog of Substance title has been bestowed upon moi by Sheila who is by the way just full of it too, speaking of her cool products which you can find here. Was too. Thanks so much, unless this means full of malarkey, even so thanks so much.

Receiving this award comes with some customary rules which I will list below, but one of the unique rules is to sum up my blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience in 5 words. So, my 5 words are

Crazy
Crazy a$$
Crazy a$$ed
Crazy a$$edness
Sincerity, no really that’s just a rumor

And yes all that is because of you my dear internets. Now I need to give it to ten people and they are supposed to state the rules and link back to the giver (that would be moi) and then pass it on to ten of their dear internets. I hate this part, no not passing it on of course, but the choosing part and the award goes to…. (but first this interuption don't just glance at the list and run, keep reading) pretty please and thank you

Left Brain Write
Exit Stage Right
DaPoppins
Shine the Devine
Deanna's Blog
Finding the Write Moment
Teahouse Blossom
Elizabeth's Ramblings
Jai Joshi's Tulsi Tree
A Writer's Point of View
Dorriane Darden
Powder Burns & Bullets
 
So what if I added one or two to grow on, since when have you known me to totally stick to rules and for that very reason if you think I have slighted you please feel free to grab this award and protest the slight on your blog. I double dog dare you.


Any Publicity as they as is good publicity. Do you agree or disagree? that is the question

Crazy A$$edness Kitchen

Oh my goodness have we come a long way or what!


I know I’ve been very lazy busy with this life of leisure and not shown you how it looks at our house these days. First let me ask you to over look the fact that I have not made any curtains as of yet. I have a good excuse reason, no really I do. The studio is still sorta messed up with junk precious items from the house and I have been painting and doing mixed media-art journaling. In my spare time of course. So’s any ways here is a photo rich post…

I don’t know what that spot is behind the chair, must have been some kinda camera thang or maybe one of my in-laws’ ghost. Oh, speaking of, when our son came over with his girlfriend we took some photos of the “in love” couple and my father in law {deceased} showed up. Glowing large and just beaming over my son’s shoulder from the happy news. What? I didn’t tell you? Gonna have a baby this fall. Must stop dallying and make a baby quilt. I think it’s gonna be a girl.

 

And my Beloved is such a pubescent boy at times, he thinks I picked out these light fixtures to remind him of my breasts when he is in or looking at the kitchen. Said it was comforting, like being hugged or something sexual like that (use your imagination). He is such a crazy a$$.

I wonder if I’ll be able to get him to change the light bulbs when they need it. Yeah, guess I’m a bit of a crazy a$$ too. But y’all already suspected that or maybe I’ve mentioned it a time or two before.

Now what kind of crazy a$$edness would you like to share with me, my dear internets? OR do you just want to compliment me (feel free to rave on and on) about the dust freeness of my floors?

Color me Excited

I want to show y’all this nifty new kaleidoscope I just got in the mail.

Pretty neato, huh? I ordered it from a fella, Mike Speed, when we were in Kerrville. He had a booth set up at the courthouse square and only had a sample left. Figures so I ordered on and it came, although this is not just like the sample…I like mine better. Well it was custom made for moi after all. I told Mike that I would like a “wand”, that’s the clear part with the colored sand & stars in it, with mostly purples and likewise the stained glass part to be in the purple family. No, I’m not quite a purple freak, everything is not that color in my house or my closet, but it IS my favorite color. Well I suppose my studio door and the French doors into the back of the house are purple…and I’m thinking about painting the shutters and front door purple too. Hey I’m a unique kinda person and that makes me special. Besides purple is a fueng shui color for fame so maybe it’ll give my blog a boost or my writing or one of my many other talents. Do to, special is so a Talent! And yellow is for health and that’s the other color I’m thinking about using. The front door is currently red and someone else on our street went and painted theirs red and that made me want to repaint the front door and the shutters to match it.

So there-humph.

Speaking of color the one that I dislike most is taupe, it is like this whole non color as far as I’m concerned that and the DMV loves it. Beige / khaki is okay just not taupe.

And now for a totally different turn of events

How’s about a poem? You WOULD like that, wouldn’t you my dear internets…sure you would. Okay you talked me into it.

Echoes of Glory

And clouds appeared as in a surreal painting
Dark purple-black, edged in golden orange
Shimmering reflections of a Texas sun
Smiling upon the red, white and blue
Proudly waving in a night’s falling
Light and the moon and stars rose
Ever so gently in translucent echoes of glory

Happy Fourth of July to all my dear internets. May Old Glory fly forever free!