July 28, 2010

Stupid Boys

I know, I know it’s been too long since I regaled you with a story from my childhood. Okay so this one time at camp (no, not band camp-get a life people) I was younger, oh about 12, yeah 12…so there we were (family) setting up camp. Okay so my mom was setting it up and we kids were being kids. Running around and poking our noses into things we knew better not to do. No really I knew better but my little sister’s habit; AKA (also known as) the Susan Phenomenon, got a hold of me and I just couldn’t help myself.

I suppose I could blame it on boredom, but I won’t cause I liked camping, I was, well I was just being a normal kid.

Cue your favorite stupid kid music (think cartoon even)

I was delighted when I saw a board leaning up against a little tree, harmless enough. My thoughts, if I had any at all, surely. No surely I thought I can do something neat and fun with that board. Make a doll house, on accounta I loved my Barbie and she was probably in my hand, just saying. Or maybe I could use it for a makeshift stage, I did like singing and dancing, surely I did. La la laa, dum dee dum, tra la dee dum. Ew I could use for playing crazy eights on, yeah that’s it. I so needed that specific board to use as a table for us kids to play cards on. See I told you I needed that neat harmless board.
Recreation for your viewing pleasure

So anyways I reached down and tilted it towards me, maybe there was treasure behind it. Could have been, you know! Daddy did teach me to be a little careful and a good thing too on accounta there was a snake taking a nap behind the harmless board. Hum creepy. So I ever so slowly and quietly put it back and stepped away. ‘Barbie, what should we do?” Stuck up little thing didn’t say anything, so I just skipped away.

After a little time (only minutes really, no surely) some of the other campers nearby told my parents to be careful there had been some snakes spotted nearby. “Yeah”, said I, “and there is one right there behind that board.” Well you would have thought the sky had fallen or little mices were running all around the ground. It was freak out time! My brave daddy went over to the tree and moved the board-S-L-O-W-L-Y- and then,


He proceeded to stomp on that ol’ snake. No $hit, my dear internets, my daddy stomped it dead. (See this is where I get my crazy a$$edness from) It was scary and funny all at the same time. Ya just gotta picture my daddy in the late, okay mid 70s, wearing a plain white pocket tee shirt,cigarette in one hand-beer in the other, plaid Bermuda shorts (of some crazy color scheme), white socks and black cowboy boots (Texas people). Women and childrens screaming and hollering and jumping up on car hoods and daddy dance stomping around and big snake scared shootless, trying so hard to get away and throwing his rattle around. As if that was gonna scare MY daddy away. Hump!

Needless to say my mother and aunt would not camp at that particular site, no way no how. So we packed up and moved a few sites away. Once camp was made and the folks simmered down, I was chastised for moving the board and for not telling what I had found; while my brother and cousin were toting around the dead 5 foot rattle snake draped over a stick. Stupid boys.

You can find other snakes and me kind of posts here, here, here and yes even here. Does this appear to be some kind of serial thang? Surely there are a few weird unusual things in your life that seem like a repeat of a twilight zone. Come on my dear internets, I can’t be the only one!

Don't forget the all new Flashlight Follower feature coming to my sidebar on August 1st. Are you following yet?


Jannie Funster said...

You DO have a snakey life history. Mine revolves around bears. And blue rabbits.

Loving the visual of cowboy boots and Bermuda shorts. One bad-ass Dad, gee.

Understanding your wonderful uniqueness more and more as these layers are revealed. :)


sheila said...

Oh, the picture you painted as your daddy looked - beer in hand stomping the delightful in a sick sorta way, lol. By that I mean it's very funny picturing it, yet as much as I am terrified of snakes...I wouldn't stomp it.

Mostly cuz I'd be about a mile away before I'd stop screaming.

Great post, good laugh! Thanks!

Jeni said...

Seems that the visual you put up here of your Daddy stomping that snake was a pretty darned vivid one as so far all three of us commenting have been able to conjure up what that must have been like! Funny -yes but also, damned scary too. I'd probably still be running to get away after seeing the darned snake behind that board to begin with!

SuziCate said...

loved this...oh yeah, I've got some childhood rattlesnake stories, too...involving big bada$$ Daddies, too!

desk49 said...

snake I like and they're cuddly
when their tongue tickles my ear
but the ones with pointy eyes
and head are the ones, that I fear

For some reason I can smell snakes when I’m around them. Not sure if it is a sixth sense or I can really smell them.

Daisy said...

HA! That made me laugh! Quite a picture you paint, Paige. :D

Anonymous said...

Paige you have quite the following among snakes! Needless to say I won't be visiting you any time soon.

Elizabeth (wordpress)

Deanna Schrayer said...

Oh my gosh Paige, I am cracking UP at the image of your cowboy boot and bermuda shorts-clad daddy, with cigarette and beer in hand no less, stomping the Bejesus out of that poor little snake. And I needed a laugh this morning so thanks so much!

I had a thing with snakes growing up too. I once stepped on a 7' long copperhead because our grass was so high I didn't see it. It snapped at me, so I screamed and my aunt came running with hoe in hand, like she was standing there waiting for it to happen or something. The imprint of that poor snake's skin is still, to this day, we won't say how many years later, on that rock.

Thanks so much for the memories and the laughs!

Snaggle Tooth said...

I'm lucky there's no poisonous snakes around here in NE out side of occasional water moccasins.
I suppose your Daddy was very brave n protecting you all out of instinct