I suppose I could blame it on boredom, but I won’t cause I liked camping, I was, well I was just being a normal kid.
Cue your favorite stupid kid music (think cartoon even)
I was delighted when I saw a board leaning up against a little tree, harmless enough. My thoughts, if I had any at all, surely. No surely I thought I can do something neat and fun with that board. Make a doll house, on accounta I loved my Barbie and she was probably in my hand, just saying. Or maybe I could use it for a makeshift stage, I did like singing and dancing, surely I did. La la laa, dum dee dum, tra la dee dum. Ew I could use for playing crazy eights on, yeah that’s it. I so needed that specific board to use as a table for us kids to play cards on. See I told you I needed that neat harmless board.
|Recreation for your viewing pleasure|
So anyways I reached down and tilted it towards me, maybe there was treasure behind it. Could have been, you know! Daddy did teach me to be a little careful and a good thing too on accounta there was a snake taking a nap behind the harmless board. Hum creepy. So I ever so slowly and quietly put it back and stepped away. ‘Barbie, what should we do?” Stuck up little thing didn’t say anything, so I just skipped away.
After a little time (only minutes really, no surely) some of the other campers nearby told my parents to be careful there had been some snakes spotted nearby. “Yeah”, said I, “and there is one right there behind that board.” Well you would have thought the sky had fallen or little mices were running all around the ground. It was freak out time! My brave daddy went over to the tree and moved the board-S-L-O-W-L-Y- and then,
He proceeded to stomp on that ol’ snake. No $hit, my dear internets, my daddy stomped it dead. (See this is where I get my crazy a$$edness from) It was scary and funny all at the same time. Ya just gotta picture my daddy in the late, okay mid 70s, wearing a plain white pocket tee shirt,cigarette in one hand-beer in the other, plaid Bermuda shorts (of some crazy color scheme), white socks and black cowboy boots (Texas people). Women and childrens screaming and hollering and jumping up on car hoods and daddy dance stomping around and big snake scared shootless, trying so hard to get away and throwing his rattle around. As if that was gonna scare MY daddy away. Hump!
Needless to say my mother and aunt would not camp at that particular site, no way no how. So we packed up and moved a few sites away. Once camp was made and the folks simmered down, I was chastised for moving the board and for not telling what I had found; while my brother and cousin were toting around the dead 5 foot rattle snake draped over a stick. Stupid boys.
You can find other snakes and me kind of posts here, here, here and yes even here. Does this appear to be some kind of serial thang? Surely there are a few
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