Whats Bugging YOU?

So I had this little problem. I was sitting out on the breezeway contemplating some of the world’s most confounding ideas. When all of a sudden a giant wasp decided to have a drink of my coke and it dived in ~ head first no less. Now I don’t drink soda often, it makes my toes look like sausages, so I was a bit put out. What to do? Well being a regular type of frugal person that I am, I fished it out after it drowned. Then continued on with my contemplatingness and drinking of the now watered down coke. Then Bam! WamOH it occurred to me…Crap that dang-ol’ wasp most likely peed in my coke!

Does it look like it to you? Come on my dear internets, has anything like this happened to you and please tell me that you just fished out the drowned bug and drank on without missing a puddle. Please tell me I’m not the only one…

NEWS

I just found out that a humor piece of mine has just been published over at Six Sentences. Please drop by there, have a read and do spread some comment love...

then rush right back to read my other post from today Sun Screen Bathing

end of message :-)

Sun Screen Bathing

So as I sit here at a hotel, a long weekend trip with my beloved, overlooking a cool blue pool I just can’t help but wonder… {cue wavy – groovy acid dropping funky kinda music} Why a cute blond Texas girl, she must be Texan on accounta her big [you know] brown eyes, had her male friend rub on sun screen. I know it’s sun screen cause it’s the same brand I have, No Ad 45 SPF. Anyways why is she lying out in the sun? They are using a screen to block the sun, right. Does she actually expect to get a tan? I think not. I believe it’s a game of look at me, rub me, know me. Have y’all done this? Oh I would never have, no on accounta when I sunbathed I used tanning oil to help speed up the whole aging sun worshiping process, but now I see the fine error of my lines (oh so fine) and I think if only I had been a night person.

Speaking of me, was so… why do my arms get so brown and my legs are like this glow in the dark TrueBlood sort of white? Season 2 came out recently on DVD. WooWho! Season 3 started June 13, oh yeah. We came across this HBO series last year during a Halloween marathon when we were at the beginning our Autumn Adventure. Y’all member? Sure you do. We love this show and as Beloved says it IS the fastest hour on TV. In fact he loves it so much we not only bought the series we also pay extra to get HBO on our cable, not to mention the brokeness it has caused me personally. And okay I confess it IS an adult show, has nudie sex scenes (think 1 or 2 X) and junk, but it has hooked us both in spite of them. And yes we watch it with baby girl, she closes her eyes for those afore mentioned kind of scenes. No really she does. Just as soon as Season 1 was out we rushed out to get it, so too for Season 2. We found it at our local Best Buy and picked it up for, are you ready, $39.99. No really the price online for pre-order was $54.99, now don’t be mad at us, can we help it if the store had it on special sale and we get some type of loyal customer discount.

We also picked up a bottle of Tru:Blood. It’s this artificial blood beverage, so vampires don’t have to feed on us humans. It has an interesting flavor, doesn’t’ remind me of real honest to goodness blood, but I guess if I were a vamp and hungry I would drink it. If I had to that is. Speaking of vamps have you ever wondered if they go to the bathroom? They don’t “eat” like humans so do they have a digestive system? They ARE technically dead and yet they swallow blood. Does it ever come out, besides as tears? Just saying.

Oh, I gotta go, my Quickie is melting, that’s this frozen adult beverage I’m currently drinking instead of TruBlood, it’s supposed to be some kind of pain killer, but if you ask me I think it’s an attitude adjuster. Did y'all notice I'm all about the adult today!

Oh one more teeny tiny question do you sun bathe or avoid it all costs?

Drawing a beginning

As y’all know I'm taking a drawing class  so far there have been 3 and today is the last one. So as I said I have never really tried to seriously draw portraits other than the usual grade school drawings. When I first started thinking about taking a class, really to benefit my daughter who loves to draw…I thought what ta heck and drew a face in my poetry journal.

See not so good.

At our first class the instructor handed out papers that helped explain the typical shapes of the face and where abouts the different features are located within the facial structure. I used a magazine photo to start drawing from and was pleasantly surprised to find that it sorta turned out (I said sorta).

This really emboldened me and the next day I sat before a mirror and drew myself. This time using a bit of shading (which I don’t really know how to do either) and hey maybe I have uncovered a bit of a natural talent. Not that I’m a genius at it or nothing, but with practice surely I could only get better.

And do y'all think this looks like me, hey no snickering, I know it's hard to picture me without a hand over my face, but try anyways, okay.  Any ideas as to why this one really looks like me, well one side of me?

My current plan of action is to keep at it, so to try and make it a little easier on moi I have taken black & white photos of myself and my family to work from as models. This way the light won’t change and neither will the expressions or angle of the heads. As I think that may be some of my problem, y’all know look in mirror- look at paper – look at moving model, look at paper… you get the point.

And this is the model that a classmate brought last week, seems that it takes more than one drawing for me to get the hang of whichever face I’m doing. I took her photo as well and drew this.

I would like to encourage you all to try something new, ya never know what kind of hidden talent you may have lurking behind the fear.

Now tell me my dear internets have you found a hidden talent that you didn’t know you had…a superb pony tail maker? an awesome table setter? lovery sofa lounger? best sweeper ever? bestest ever friend? magical music maker? Come on do tell...

Broke Up

Does this boot make my foot look big?

I’m just all broken up about it. It’s true I was so excited about watching that HBO tv show coming on that I was rushing to get to the couch…and wham – O bam – O crunch – O when a toe bone – O broke – O and a little bone that connects said middle toe to the foot bone.

Have y’all ever broken a toe? This is my third. The first was a big toe that meet a wooden coffee table, back in the 80’s and then about a year latter a ham fell outta the freezer landing on the other big toe. Now don’t get me wrong those hurt, but not like this one. With the big toe you just sorta hobble on the outside of your foot, ya know. With the middle toe walking is next to impossible. No seriously, it is. You can’t balance on either the inside or outside part cause the pain happens when you use any part of your foot. Including when you pick it up, that dang ol’ thing has this sort of muscle, tendon WHATEVER that pulls right from the middle all the way up to my eyeballs. Yikes!

Argh! I had to sit with my foot propped up on the very item that hurt it, the ottoman, with its stupid big a$$ legs. Have you seen them? Here have a look for yourself.

See how big they are and how far they stick out, just trying to catch my toes. I have so many things I need, no more than need, I have to do. Just gotta do, but instead I’m sitting here typing this from the sofa while the tv blares, and bon bons melt from the heat of my lap top. Oh gotta go Martha Stewart is on and I can’t miss this episode.

Have y’all broken a toe or anything? (lil’ Kelly is disqualified from this question) I mean just anything like a heart, a dish, a tooth, a window or some one’s head?

Face it

 A post of mish mosh history with future gazing including visuals

Spring Crawfish Festival, back in the spring (April). Ah come on people let’s just face it some people are not meant to wear this type of clothing. This woman, as she appeared to be every bit of 35+, was over tanned and trying to look young by showing way, way too much butt cleavage. I won’t even mention her muffin top nor the fact that she needed a Brazilian on the opposite side. Nope not gonna bring it up not even a little like the way my lunch was in the back of my throat. Please my dear internets don’t let this be you, even if she were 20 that would be just too much of her private business hanging out. Don’t you think so?

This is my baby girl pealing and trying her fist crawdad, mudbug, crayfish, poor man’s lobster. She thought it was “okay”. Beloved likes them and me, eh they are…okay so I don’t like ‘em and besides who wants to work that hard for a ¼ teaspoon worth of meat not to mention head suckers. Eww! Can you feel me?

Where’s the crystal ball? Ah who needs one? So I have signed up baby girl for a drawing class over at the college, she likes drawing and is not too bad at it. But because she is 17 (a minor) I must take the class with her. Well it’s not real expensive and it would be a good mother daughter thing to do, so I’m gonna do it. Even though I cannot draw so good. Duh, you may say, that is the whole point of taking a class. I admit I’m looking forward to it after all I may pick up more than an eraser. Who knows I may even show you. What do you think about doing something you don’t normally do to help encourage your child

Jack Rabbit Moon

My dear internet, Dorraine, wrote this, it is set in Texas, one of my favorite states and the main character, Marnie Evans is a girl after my own heart. I had an Aunt Marnie who passed away some years ago so the name was already special.

Marnie is a head strong, street smart, nature loving girl. One of my favorite passages is…

“I didn’t cry, even when a tree limb whacked me square in the eye. Knuckle popping queens are tough.” See ya gotta love her, she is a Queen sorta like moi.

How can anyone not love a girl like this? No you really don’t need to answer, cause I know if you read the book you too would love her.

And here is another line, only this one made tears fall hot and heavy…

“I cleared dirt from her airway, the smell of soap and dreams still clinging to her river soaked skin.”

I suggest you read the book to find out whom this passage is referring and who said it. Now truthfully it did make me a bit angry with Dorriane, I mean how could she? But I forgave her, before I finished the chapter.

Fair warning this loving story is told from multiple view points, those of the three main characters. Unlike in the Time Travelers Wife book, the chapter headings don’t mention who is doing the speaking for that section. Oh, but my dear internets please don’t let this deter you from reading it. This story is about unconditional love and forgiveness at its best. Ranger Rick is, oh so much better than Edward or Jacob could ever hope to be as full fledged adult men!

Drop by and say hi to Dorriane and her book is available from Amazon.

So hows about you, read anything lately? Recipes, comics, instructions, books…

Shh, can we talk?

Can we be intimate for a minute? I know we can, just me and my dear, most dearest internets. I want to talk about bras, no really I do. Buying bras is a traumatic thing, sorta like the bathing suit horror, for me. I am an average buxom lady with curves. Now my size does not mean my shoulders are as big as a Texans football player, yet manufactures think this. For a bra to be supporting the straps should line up with your nipples go over your shoulder and end at/just below your shoulder blade; Because the nipples are the center point for the heaviest part of your breast and therefore the best location for support. Now I have never, ever bought an over the counter bra that actually had the straps in the right place for me. They seem to always be too far over to the outside. And I don’t know about you, but I cannot afford to buy custom made, hell the over the counter ones cost enough.

Anyhows to combat the issue when I buy new ones…BTW I only like the seamless cups, cotton (or as high a cotton content I can get, adjustable straps and if at all possible the ones that hook in the front (as if I could find any) and because I’m curvy I do the underwire. Now back to the alteration, yes I alter my bras. I cut the strap, one at a time (less confusing) and move it about a half inch or so towards the hook part and sew it back on. Now if you choose to try this, do be sure and not twist the strap, cause that makes it feel really weird. I make little stitches using a like colored thread and go back and forth at least 3 times. Well I don’t want ‘em coming loose, cause that would just be dangerous. Surprise and low and behold I don’t suffer from falling/slipping straps anymore and they don’t hang out from tank tops looking all 70s and junk. And this keeps me perky.

I don’t know maybe I’m the only one that has had the problem of falling / slipping bra straps, but if not you may consider trying this for yourself. But if you do, try it on a cheap bra (the ones pictured here were $7 each from WalsMart) just in case you don’t like the results. And if over the counter over the shoulder bolder holders are not a problem for you just disregard this message or just do what Jannie the Funster does and fling them away. The bra not the boulders. Duh!

Any intimate tips you would like to share with our fellow dear internets?

Someone Got Framed!

Who wants to see the picture I finally had framed? The title is Peach Girl, by Daniela Ovtcharov, it is a “Gicle’e” print, that I picked up at the Bayou City Art Festival down in Houston last fall. The one I had the wall painted that certain “mulling spice” color for. Y’all member. Well here she is for your viewing pleasure and as silly as it may seem lil’ Peach Girl makes me smile when I walk by her.

No. The green/jade looking frame was not part of the professional framing, it’s one I got for $3 on clearance at the hobby store. I had this grand idea to hang multi frames of various sizes and colors around Ms. Peach to make her the central point in some sort of artistic creative a$$ed way…but when I held this green frame up my socks were knocked off and volia- she is framed twice over. Do ya like?

And here is the silly fun piece I did for the back wall of my renovated kitchen. I painted the background of a blank canvas,

modge podged some roosters on it, painted over it a bit and then sealed it Finally I added a clock with my repurposed (cake decoration) sunflower for the center. Not as fancy smanchy as the end tables, but it’ll do.

And now, tell me what have you painted lately: Walls? Canvas? Nails? Face?