May 14, 2009

House Slaves Beware

I have been a house wife-an unemployed not working for “money” out the home- years and years ago and loved it and would love to do it now. IF I didn’t work outside our home I would so do it in a heartbeat. Keeping house, cooking everyday doing all the things it takes to keep a home running smoothly. My husband would not need to do much of anything nor the kids except pick up after themselves. But alas I must work for the medical insurance benefits this job has. Especially now, knowing that neither one of us will be able to get coverage any other way. Funny how cancer, heart attack, and stroke will do that to one’s ability to get medical insurance.

This is my opinion take it how you please….

Women for years, at least the last 2 generations are still stuck in believing the house is our problem. Yes women have by tradition taken care of the home and all things to do with its upkeep. And that is fine when they don’t work outside the home. But even those ladies need to be teaching their children both the boys and especially the girls that the home is a place for the “whole” family and if you walk in and out the door you drag in dirt and you too are responsible for cleaning it. After all one day they will, God willing, be in a home where most likely both adults will be working outside the home. By teaching our children and husband sometimes, to do their share they are learning to be a responsible member of the family.

Why do so many women still say “help me with the house cleaning”, why are they helping you clean up after themselves? I don’t get it, do you? I mean no one “helps you clean up after yourself.”

Now I also believe that if you are a stay at home parent, men included, you should do, need to do the cleaning and other household up keep. Because the other parent is out working earning money to buy food and pay for said house. My second husband used to say “When you bring home as much money as me then I’ll help with the house.” But when I did he didn’t and then when I brought home more money than him he quit his job and I still did the house work. In fact I even had to pay a baby sitter to watch our son (for said son’s safety) while he did whatever, while he waited for me to come home from a14 hour day and cook him food... And ladies and gentlemen that is not right. That was a hard thing that taught me all members of the household make dirt, dirty dishes, bathtubs, toilets, clothes and on and on the list can run. Therefore they, each one, all members of the household need to clean up after themselves.

The home is no longer a one person arena—everyone is responsible and it’s up to us to make them see that. Unless you want to do it all and if that is the case shut up and stop bitching.

I’m not telling you what to do and again this is my opinion it is up to y’all to do what is best for you… Cause I may be just an instigator and a buttinski!


Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Hear! Hear!!! You live there. You pitch in. Etc. It's just logical!

BTW, our adult kids do house work, in their households... regardless of their work status.

And another pet peeve of mine is, paying kids to do work around the home. Somehow, to me, this idea of teaching kids that they can expect to be paid for everything they do, is not good training either.

Hey, thanks for making this post. Both for your points, and allowing me to grumble about my points. -grin-

'Aunt Amelia'

sheila said...

Yes, I totally agree. I'm trying to raise my son not only to open doors and be of assistance OUTside the home....but to also do his share in the home. I think that's so important. My husband is a good example, because he does his share too.

Although it would be nice if someone...anyone in this house...would help me clean the toilet once in awhile! Ughhhh. lol

J. M. Strother said...

We're pretty much on the same page. ;) I think sharing housework has pretty much become the norm for younger adults. Us old dinosaurs are moving on. But even old dinosaurs can learn new tricks. I do toilets. Not all that often, but I do 'em.

Jeni said...

From your description of that ex-husband, it does sound like we both may have been married to the same person as your description describes my ex completely! Even down to the babysitter needed for the safety of the child!
Although I am definitely not ever gonna make Martha Stewart's list -or Good Housekeeping's either for having a neat, clean and tidy home, I tried to get my kids to learn that theory of "we all live here, we all need to clean here too." I didn't think it worked when they were growing up, but now and again, I see evidence that they grasped the concept. But, on another note, I really get aggravated when I see and hear women say that "Oh, I can't possibly mow the grass" (or rake or garden or repair anything, because that is my husband's job or men's work.There's nothing wrong with women learning how to fire up a lawn mower and use it either.

... Paige said...

I think the only thing that women can't do it is "father" a child and likewise men can not give birth. Yes I know about transexuals mixing up this rule but really we all know if you have natural girl parts in place you give birth or if you natual boy parts you fertilize. And that's the way it is.

Jon you are great husband my beloved also does the potty-not often but he will do it.

Zephra said...

I have really been pushing this lesson in my house but surprise surprise, no one seems eager to pitch in. I have decided that as much as I hate it, I am going to have to tell them exactly what they need to do. otherwise it does not get done unless I do it...and I ain't doin it all.

Liara Covert said...

People underestimate how their own behaviour perpetuates perceived problems. If you are a person who likes things neat, and you instinctively clean up after people in your house, then they do not learn to take responsibility to do things for themeselves. As hard as it can be, do not always put someone else's dishes away. Do not pick up clothes on someone else's bedroom floor. Do not permit people to get away with doing nothing. This is a wake up call. Everyone has opportunities to learn form everyone else.


very true..although as a homemaker I sometimes forget to do my part--this was a great reminder for me.
thank you!!


80s Queen said...

If I could only get my cats to clean the litter box and sweep up the hair tumbleweeds floating around I would be happy.

Jannie Funster said...

If I were "working' I'd lean on the Hubby to clean and such but since I'm usually home eating bonbons by computer all day I figure I can do all the house stuff. And I enjoy it all - except doing dishes. Why do I h ate doign dishes so much?

ElizabethR said...

Very well said Paige.