March 17, 2010

Beaver Hunting

It’s was a hard winter, for some it was the weather and for others the cut backs. Ya know it left that deep chill way down in the bones and all that. The kind of cold that hot beef stew just can’t seem to reach. I tried to help warm you my dear internets with our fireplace make over and maybe it helped and maybe not. So I will move on to warming your funny bone with the whole point of this post being the beaver hunt we went on.

What ya didn’t know we had beavers in Texas? Of course we do sillies…we got up last Saturday and because we had been so busy putting our home back together again we were feeling a little blue from all the cabin fever and such. Beloved and I were talking over coffee and remembered a little tale told to us {cue the weird music}

He said, “Where is that weird music coming from?”

“haha and hehe.”, says I. “I turned on the radio.”

“Member, Moon told us about the big a$$ beaver up I-45?” Beloved asked

“Sure I do, but let me explain to my dear internets that the Moon of which we speak is a person and not the moon you hung in the sky just for me.” Said, well I said it.

Beloved stated, “Do you feel like going north? I want to see it for myself.”

So I put on some shoes and my sun glasses, as it was a partly sunny day. Well okay so the sky was gray, but the glare hurts my eyes. Have I told you that before? We, both of us at the same time, hollered for Baby Girl… “Come on Baby Girl we’re going on a day trip.”
It was a good day for a drive which was proven by the heavy traffic. What ta heck? “O” says I, “there’s a cop. No wonder everyone is going sooooo slow.” It didn’t take long for me to get a little sleepy that is my way you know when I’m not driving. I made it to see Mr. Houston trying to step out onto the road. What a crazy a$$, I think I take his picture every time we go by Huntsville. Then off I went to that strange kind of place where you think you are awake, but your mouth gapes open and that monster sound growls up from your throat. Yeah you know the one or at least you heard about it.

And voile, that’s French for 'HEY, we’re here'. Wow that was fast. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the big giant Beaver. Holy elephant gun! He was HUGE! I almost peed my pants. Let me explain that peeing part. The story, told by Moon, was that the Beaver had the bestest and neatest restrooms he had ever seen, well worth the five hour drive to get there and that was seconded by his girlfriend who’s name is not Moon.
Oh my gosh! I could hardly wait to get in there. I’m sure you understand, because I had had several cups of coffee before we left and it took us a couple of hours to get there. I almost choked myself on the seat belt trying to get out of the truck. So in I ran, right past the aisles and aisles of cool stuff, hardly noticed the 9 ta10 foot Beaver inside and the man with a big black mustache behind the bars telling the Beaver’s history. It was a good thing the restroom sign was perfectly clear, not only did it say Cowgirls it had a picture of a stick figure in a dress with cowboy boots on. There were so many stalls (get it? stalls like for cows) I could hardly focus on the little tiny handle that said either Vacant or Occupied. I mean thank God I wasn’t color blind and could tell the difference between red and green.

Okay so once the paper work was done, it was down to business. Yes, I must agree it was a very nice restroom. Plenty of places for one to relieve themselves, wash hands, purdy up at a mirror and do the Cotton-eyed-Joe. And it didn’t smell bad.
I began to meander around in the store area, have y’all ever seen Camo Colored Popcorn? They had like 2 long aisles of packaged popcorn in a wide range of colors and styles. It was downright F~R~E~A~K~Y. Oo, oo there were a few aisles of regular convenience store type snacks. Refrigerated and fountain drinks and Coffee of all types and countries! Then there was the “General Store” part that had fancy home décor stuff, Texas things, tee-shirts, hats and more plus gas. They had a huge deli counter where you could order by way of computer menu monitors and when it was ready they called your number. Beloved got jerky (duh), Baby Girl found a monkey, and me, well I got a pecan log and divinity both, may I add they were “hand made by beavers” that’s what they said anyway.

And if you want to, you can go see Buc-ee’s Beaver too, on I-45 in Madisonville and he has a blog!

FTC Disclaimer: yeah I got no kind of compensation for my opinions here, the place made us pay for our items before we left the store or else it would have been shoplifting. Double Duh!


Deanna said...

Oh how I wish I was in Texas so I could go see the big Beaver! You make the place sound like Heaven itself, especially since they had pecan logs, which in my opinion is one of God's greatest creations. Okay, I guess it's man's creation, but without God there would be no pecan trees with which to make the logs - get it trees/logs. Ha! I crack myself up.
Yes, I've missed my medication or something. :)

Jai Joshi said...

I'll have to check this place out next time I'm in that neck of the woods.


ElizabethR said...

Paige, you're a scream! Loved your post. Especially, the Cotton-eyed-Joe part. Hubby and I have been trying to learn that dance for years:)

teahouse said...

Tee hee hee..that's so random and hilarious!

Blue Bunny said...

yoo almoste hads me wit the beever joking. i lives in texis too, as yoo know. and i nevver heered of enny bevers.

yoo so craking me UP.

any hay -- wil you haz karrits heeer on april ferst, for the fun stoopid party?
and beers for my jannie?

nise seeing you agin.
i think my jannie be givving you some poetree but she stil not et pikked the winers. she doing it soon, tho!


loves, BB

Dorraine said...

Oh, yes, I love the Beaver! Actually our whole family does. We make it a point to stop just because. But by gosh, those are the fanciest bathrooms I've seen anywhere!

Snaggle Tooth said...

Very interesting Daytrip story!
I especially like the part where I thought you were talking about a critter- n the 2 isles of popcorn!
I'll see what the site says

sheila said...

Oh my God, lol. You are a nut.
ha ha ha!