July 16, 2011

Trouble in Paradise!

OMG and HOW SAD, for me. It has been 10 days since my last post, my dear internets, and not one of y’all have called or emailed to check on my well being. Humph! (thanks for the snail mail card Deanna)

So what’s going on and all that you may want to know, or maybe not. {insert sad face here} I have not had any leftover MoJo / Inspiration / fodder to share with y’all. See it’s all because I was abducted by a space ship. Not the typical silver saucer with lights all around it, nope. It was one of those cigar shaped ones, no sillies not a Zeppelin but close, I guess if I had to make a reach for what it looked like…other than a cigar but way bigger, no huge’r than a cigar.

Sadly or fortunately I don’t remember much, not really. It was all like one moment I was dancing naked in the backyard trying to conjure up some rain and swoosh I was in this vast room. I mean hole E cow can y’all image! There I was all naked and junk in a colossal, too brightly lit room…all and I do mean ALL of me exposed. {shudder} Oh wait I forgot something {Cue: spooky space or techno music} So again there I was like all Nake Ed and so I just stood there looking around and thinking, What happened? Did I fall and hit my noggin in my wild foray of a dance routine? Did lightning strike me and now I’m in a coma? What!!

“No”, echoed this tiny voice.

Yeah, weird as I expected, and why did I expect, this big booming voice to answer too. So I twirled around trying to see who or what said that. Nothing, I saw nothing but empty space. Then I heard the tiny echo say, I’m up here. Duh!” I snapped my head up - Hole E Mole E! Standing on this weee witty bitty platform thingie was a little dude. At least I guess it was a dude, it had no…umm… well he had no boobs okay. So yeah, dude. Now picture this (oh you can kill the music IF you want) he was wearing a striped shirt of red, white and yes blue and had on pants, no not blue jeans, they were these green plaid, yellow and black. I know how crazy is that? And Orange tiny shoes, sort of Italian leather looking or made from Nagua’s (Naugahyde, umm yeah they are real).

I said, “Just what is going on here and who ta H E double hockey sticks are you?” While in my head I was all like whoa (as Joey says) and my legs were feeling a little jello’ie and not from my super and duper dance routine either. Then he shook his butt, at least I guess it was his butt it was behind him anyway and said something, it didn’t echo so I don’t know what it was. My hearing is not as good as it used to be ya know.

And next thing y’all and I know, I was in my bed and it was thundering and raining. No - not inside my head Silly, Outside and by that I don’t mean inside my house either.

To wrap up this post that went nowhere {along with me} the moral of this…the point is to…awh heck Don’t NEVER EVER do a rain dance when you are naked and “they” are cruising the night skies on a joy ride.

Have you ever been Abducted my dear internets?
Hello are you there?


Brian Miller said...

haha...naked rain dances and am glad they returned you...smiles.

Dapoppins said...

No naked rain dances for me. Too much jiggle in the wiggle...however, I did have aliens do brain surgury on my, and have proof of a bald spot and authentic internet clipping...but that was a while ago. Other than that, Ive been in school, worrying about money, and taking the bus...which has pretty much kept me off the internet. I missed the press release that you were missing Paige! I'm so sorry? But you weren't actually missing for 31 days or anything, were you? I mean, cause that would be really bad if no one reported you after missing 31 days...

And I know it would be bad after 31 days because I got a pass-it-on on face book that says so.

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Will remember your warning! LOL...

So, I did altered art hu? By not liking the pic on my July calendar page, and cutting out stuff from a pretty catalog, and pasting the stuff randomly on the calendar, over the pic I didn't like.

Who'd-a-thunk-it?!? :-)


Snaggle Tooth said...

Sounds like the rain Dance finally worked!- Thunder n lightning means rain right?

No- I've never remembered being abducted. I've suspected an implanted tiny tracker device causing all my sinus infections like in X-files tho.

I thought you were just on vaca like evetyone else! Doesn't sound like alot of fun except for that snazzy-coloered outfit you weren't wearing...

Deanna Schrayer said...

You absolutely crack me up Paige! I did wonder, (when I finally got around yesterday), where you'd been. Good to know it was adventurous at least, and that you got that much-needed rain! Sounds to me like you need to do naked rain dances more often, seeing as it worked. :)

Cathy C. Hall said...

Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought happened.

Jannie Funster said...

Aliens took all our rain, but they sure did look cute dancing naked.

Seems to be a lot of infrequent posting by many of us these days, me for sure.

Summer is here.

And so am I.


And what's funny is I wrote all the above sentences yesterday. Just getting back to this comment now. So glad it was still here in a window.

I do tend to get side-tracked, bytimes. And by life. :)


Daisy said...

Oh Paige. You are a hoot! :-D

All I got to say is I hope you didn't get a sunburn or any mosquito bites when you were out there rain dancing naked. Sunburn and mosquito bites can be quite annoying!

My blog posting has been intermittent too, and now I'm trying to catch up on blog reading in which I am waaay behind!!

LauraX said...

Jai Joshi said...

Oh Paige, you had me giggling at the thought of you waking up naked with the 'Little Dude' standing over you!.

I wish I had some rain to dance naked in but alas! It's been dryer than I know not what over here in Oklahoma. And I wouldn't mind being abducted by some alien spaceship neither. Give me something to do.


Snaggle Tooth said...

Have you melted yet?

I hope you are ok
(I am NOT an alien)